Attorney
Typically, every parent wants what’s best for their child. But sometimes, when emotions run high, one parent can act in ways that damage their child’s relationship with the other parent. This is known as parental alienation, and it is something that can have a big impact on child custody cases in New Mexico.
As a seasoned family law attorney, Bob Matteucci can help you address this difficult topic head-on.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation occurs when one parent undermines a child’s relationship with their other parent.It is not something that happens by accident; it’s a choice. Because of this, it is considered emotional or psychological abuse, both forms of domestic violence.
Parental alienation can take many forms, from subtle comments to outright manipulation. Over time, it can lead a child to resist, fear, or reject a parent they once loved. Examples include:
- Criticizing or blaming the other parent in front of the child
- Limiting or sabotaging communication between the child and the other parent
- Making the child feel guilty for spending time with the other parent
- Sharing information about the divorce that paints the other parent in a negative light
These are not one-off things that are said or done when passions are running high. They are examples of a sustained attempt to poison a parent-child relationship.
How New Mexico Courts View Parental Alienation
In New Mexico, the guiding principle in all custody cases is the child’s best interest. Judges consider several factors when determining what that is, including “the interaction and interrelationship of the child with his or her parents.” Because of this, judges do not view alienation in a positive light.
Depending on the circumstances, a judge may:
- Reduce the amount of time the alienating parent spends with their child (this is known as physical custody)
- Require supervised visitation until the situation stabilizes
- Order therapy or counseling
- Limit the alienating parent’s decision-making authority (what is known as legal custody)
It is unlikely that a judge would completely sever the relationship between a child and an alienating parent because New Mexico state law presumes that it is best for children to have at least some sort of relationship with both of their parents.
Recognize the Signs of Parental Alienation and Take Action
Parental alienation often begins subtly. Your child might start by saying they don’t want to spend time with you, ignoring your phone calls or texts, or echoing adult language that clearly isn’t their own.
If you sense something is off, and suspect your child’s other parent is to blame, avoid reacting in anger or trying to “set the record straight” through your child. Instead:
- Be calm and consistent. Show up, follow through on any promises you make, and show your child love.
- Document incidents. Keep a record of missed visits, messages, and concerning statements.
- Avoid confrontation. Direct conflict with your co-parent in front of the child often makes things worse.
- Seek professional guidance. A family therapist can help identify and address alienation early.
- Speak with an attorney. An experienced family law attorney like Bob Matteucci can help you gather evidence of this kind of abuse and take legal action to protect your child and yourself.
Remember: parental alienation isn’t just a legal issue, it’s an emotional one. Your goal isn’t to “win” custody, or prove you are the better parent, but to ensure your child grows up feeling loved and supported.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
Parental alienation is a form of domestic violence. Under New Mexico’s child custody and domestic abuse laws, it is treated just as seriously as a slap across the face.
Attorney Bob Matteucci and the rest of the Matteucci Family Law team can help you identify and document parental alienation and take legal steps to protect you and your child from this sort of abuse. Please contact us today to set up a meeting.