Attorney
A quarter of a century ago (Yikes! How was 1999 that long ago?) country singer Brad Paisley wrote and recorded the ultimate song about the importance of stepparents. “He Didn’t Have to Be” is written from the perspective of a man who is in the hospital awaiting the birth of his first child. He hopes that he can be “at least half the dad” that his stepfather “didn’t have to be.”
It’s a tear-jearker for anyone who has a strong bond with chosen family members, and a favorite of the Matteucci Family Law team. The song resonates with us because Attorney Bob Matteucci and his staff work with a lot of stepparents in the Albuquerque area who want to legally formalize the relationship they have with their stepchildren — including by seeking custody of them.
Unlike biological parents, stepparents in New Mexico do not have automatic rights to visitation or custody of a stepchild following a divorce or separation. However, there are two scenarios where stepparents may obtain custody of their stepchildren even after their relationship with the child’s biological parent has ended.
Obtaining Custody of Stepchildren Through Adoption
The first and most straightforward way for a stepparent to secure their ties to a beloved stepchild is through adoption. In New Mexico, once a stepparent has adopted the child, they assume the same legal rights as a biological parent.
This means that in the event of a divorce or separation — or heaven-forbid the death of the biological parent — the stepparent has equal rights to seek custody, visitation, or shared parenting time. The court will treat the stepparent as a legal parent, and may be granted sole or shared physical and/or legal custody of the child.
Using New Mexico’s Kinship Guardianship Law to Take Custody of Stepchildren
The second way a stepparent can seek custody of a stepchild is through New Mexico’s kinship guardianship law. Kinship guardianship is a legal process that allows a relative, godparent, member of a child’s tribe or clan, or another adult who has a significant bond with a child in need — like a stepparent — to come forward and take physical and legal custody of the child.
The guardian steps into the role of the parent, taking physical and legal custody of a child whose biological parents cannot or will not take proper care of them. Oftentimes the parents’ inability or unwillingness to parent is the result of physical disability, mental health issues, substance abuse, or incarceration.
For stepparents who have been the primary caregivers of their stepchildren for an extended period, kinship guardianship can be a way to formalize their role in the child’s life and ensure they have the legal authority to obtain medical and dental care for the child, make decisions about the child’s education, and apply for financial assistance from various state agencies on behalf of the child. The stepparent, as kinship guardian, can also seek child support from the parents if appropriate.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
The relationship between a child and stepparent who has stepped up and became the parent they “didn’t have to be” is often unbreakable. But getting legal recognition of its importance can be an uphill battle.
Stepparents who want to formalize the bonds they share with a stepchild, or potentially seek custody of a stepchild need to work with an experienced family law attorney who knows the ins and outs of New Mexico’s adoption and kinship guardianship laws. If you are in this position, Attorney Bob Matteucci is ready to help you jump through the various legal hoops and solidify the role you have in your stepchild’s life. Contact the Matteucci Family Law Firm today to set up a meeting and discuss your case.