One of the things new parents quickly learn is that kids don’t come with instruction manuals. There’s no book, class, or social media influencer who can teach you everything you need to know about keeping the tiny human in your life alive and happy for the next 18+ years.
So it is a little bit funny that a parenting plan — which is a document that is supposed to cover all the issues you and your soon-to-be-former-partner might encounter during your co-parenting journey — is one of the things New Mexico state law requires you to create if you want a divorce and you have minor children or if you are not married to the other parent and you would like a parenting plan to define the parental responsibilities each parent has.
At Matteucci Family Law, we help parents in the Albuquerque area hammer out child custody agreements, then draft these impossible to imagine, yet impossibly important, documents. We work to make the parenting plans we draft forward-looking and flexible so they can grow with your child, while still ensuring you and your former partner are on the same page.
What is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a document that describes in detail how the parent’s child custody agreement will be implemented. It is an essential document in divorces and other family law cases where child custody is being decided.
What Should a Parenting Plan Include?
The parenting plan is required to include the nuts and bolts of physical custody agreement including how much time the child will spend at each parent’s home.
Attorney Matteucci has found that it is also a good idea to list holidays, summer vacations and other special events that may alter the typical schedule and explain where the child will be spending those times.
The parenting plan also needs to include language that addresses legal custody which is, essentially, directions spelling out how the parents make decisions regarding the child.
Typically, a parenting plan includes whatever the family feels is appropriate. However, there are a few topics New Mexico policymakers encourage parents to cover:
- Statements regarding the child’s religion
- Educational plans
- Child care plans for children who are not in school yet/school break and after school care
- Information about the child’s recreational activities — what they are, who is paying for them, and who may attend things like sporting events and recitals
- Plans for the child’s medical and dental care, especially if the child has special needs
- Designation of specific decision-making responsibilities, which should include the ability to make decisions not anticipated by the parenting plan
- Methods of communicating information about the child
- Information on how the child will be transported between households
- Exchanging care for the child
- Preferences for maintaining telephone and mail contact between parent and child
- Procedures for future decision-making, including procedures for dispute resolution; and
- Other statements regarding the welfare of the child or statements designed to clarify and facilitate parenting under joint custody arrangements.
Whether this list seems overwhelming, or you find it missing topics you know your parenting plan needs to cover, you should keep in mind the main objective is ensuring you and your former partner can give your child the love and support they need.
Do I Need a Parenting Plan?
Under New Mexico state law, a parenting plan must be in place before the court will approve a child custody agreement. It does not matter if you were married to your child’s other parent or not, or you are going through the world’s most amicable divorce, the court will not approve any custody plan you and your former partner have worked out if you do not have a parenting plan in place.
If you do not create a parenting plan, the court will not approve your child custody agreement. You will have no way to legally enforce the informal custody agreement you and your former partner have struck if the child’s other parent refuses to abide by it, or even goes so far as to abduct your child.
Coming to an Agreement
While you and your former partner both want what is best for your child, it is likely that you will have differing opinions about what that means. The time to try and find common ground and build a foundation you can co-parent on is when the parenting plan is being drafted.
Kicking the can down the road and saying you will figure out Christmas visitation, or who pays for college, or which parent is going to make basic medical decisions later just invites conflict. It is far better to hash things out now when you have attorneys to advise you.
You may even want to consider bringing in a attorney mediator who can act as a neutral third party and help you come to an agreement that you all can live with.
Modifying a Parenting Plan
One of the only constants in life is change, so it should come as no surprise that parenting plans sometimes need adjusting after a few years have gone by. In New Mexico, child custody agreements and the parenting plans that implement them can be modified if there has been a “material and substantial change” affecting the child. This, of course, is a fact-specific question that will vary from one case to another.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
Whether the idea of drafting your own personal parenting how-to book sounds impossible, or is something you are excited to tackle, Attorney Bob Matteucci is here for you.
Bob is a seasoned family law attorney who can help you craft a parenting plan that matches your family’s specific experiences, values, and goals. Contact the Matteucci Family Law Firm today to set up a meeting and discuss your case.