Attorney
Sometimes pushing harder doesn’t move things forward — it just digs a deeper hole. No where is this more true than when you are getting divorced and things start to get chippy.
The instinct to fight can feel natural, even justified. After all, the life you’ve built, everything you’ve earned, feels like it is at stake. But in divorce, the more you battle with your spouse, the worse things get.
No matter how hard you fight, under New Mexico’s divorce laws, the only things you are going to “win” are longer timelines, higher legal costs, and emotional exhaustion. As a former business owner and divorcee, Attorney Bob Matteucci knows this first hand. He’s been at the bottom of the hole, and he knows the way out.
There’s Not As Much To Fight About As You May Think
In business, most disputes can be resolved with some creative problem-solving. You can negotiate, restructure, or pivot your way out of a tight spot. Your contracts and the economic realities of doing business provide some helpful parameters, but there’s always wiggle room.
Divorce isn’t like that. New Mexico’s divorce laws are relatively inflexible, and fighting over the areas where there is some room for give-and-take is one of those situations where the juice is rarely worth the squeeze.
- The value of all community property must be divided 50/50. It doesn’t matter who earned more, who worked longer hours, or who technically owns the company you built. Assets acquired or grown during the marriage belong equally to both spouses.
- Joint custody is the default. New Mexico courts start from the premise that children benefit from spending a significant amount of time with both parents.
- Child support is calculated by formula. You plug in some numbers and the state says what it thinks your child support payments should be.
Those limits frustrate a lot of people at first. But they also create a kind of relief once you understand them. They mean you can stop fighting for control over what can’t be controlled and start focusing on what you can.
The Cost of Conflict
With all that being said, there are still things you can fight about. You can argue that certain assets are not community property, and their value should not be split up. And deciding where your child is going to spend the holidays is always a tough one.
But if you let your instinct to fight take over, here’s what you are actually going to “win”:
- A longer divorce. The judge can only approve your divorce once you and your soon-to-be-ex have stopped fighting. The more you argue, the longer everything takes.
- Higher legal fees. The Matteucci Family Law team doesn’t work for free. Even though our fees are very reasonable, the costs add up as your case drags on.
- Stress seeps into everything. You’re going to wake up thinking about your case and go to bed replaying what your spouse said at the latest negotiation session. Your kids and your career are going to suffer because you’re too busy looking back to live in the now.
This isn’t winning. And it isn’t the best way to ensure you can move forward after your divorce is finalized.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
If you are ready to put down the shovel, Attorney Bob Matteucci has a ladder. His experience as a family law attorney, combined with the years he spent running a successful retail business in the Albuquerque area can get you out of the black hole of divorce and back on solid ground. Please contact him today to schedule a meeting.