Attorney
When they think about the holidays, many parents picture a scene straight out of a Hallmark movie: everyone gathered around the tree, sipping cocoa, smiling through the glow of twinkling lights. And never mind the fact that we live in Albuquerque, Bing Crosby says it’s going to be a White Christmas!
But after a divorce, the holiday season feels less like a rom-com and more like a movie under production — complete with complicated child custody logistics, budget constraints, and at least one diva on the set.
As a seasoned family law attorney, Bob Matteucci has seen this one before. And he’s got some tips you and your co-parent can use to create meaningful, memory-filled holidays for your children post-divorce.
Take a Cue from Elsa and “Let it Go”
The first step you need to take to make this holiday season a great one is letting go of the idea that it has to be perfect.
Think back on one of your favorite holiday memories. Is it a picture perfect scenario? Or were you simply spending time with the people you love?
Your kids aren’t going to care whether your holiday cards go out on time, or whether your decorations look Instagram-worthy. But they will notice the ways you and their other parent take time to show your love for them.
Honor Old Traditions and Create New Ones
The best way to show your love is by spending time with your child.
Your children’s memories are built on traditions, so preserving a few familiar rituals can provide comfort and continuity. Maybe you still meet up in Old Town to see the luminaries. Or perhaps you bake the same cookies your family has loved for years, even though the recipe came from your former in-laws.
At the same time, this new chapter is a chance to start fresh. You might:
- Let your kids choose some new ornaments for your tree that you will use year after year.
- Create a breakfast tradition that’s unique to each home.
- Find a new volunteer opportunity that your child can participate in with both parents, like a food drive.
Blending old and new can help children feel grounded, while subtly reminding them that life may always be changing but it will always be filled with love.
‘Tis the Season to Communicate
Holiday stress can strain even the best co-parenting relationships. Clear communication is the best way to keep expectations aligned and emotions in check.
- Plan early. Review your parenting plan well before the holidays and confirm travel dates, pickup times, and gift budgets.
- Put it in writing. A short, friendly email or text recap after each discussion prevents confusion later.
- Stay flexible. Weather, illnesses, and work emergencies happen. If you can accommodate your co-parent’s reasonable request this year, they’re more likely to do the same for you next time.
When both parents approach the holidays as a shared project instead of a competition, everyone wins, especially the kids.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
Divorce might change the way your holidays look, but it doesn’t have to take away the magic. The Matteucci Family Law team is rooting for you as you co-parent through this holiday season. Feel free to reach out if you need legal assistance.