What If I Don’t Agree With My Spouse On The Terms Of The Divorce?

By Bob Matteucci
Attorney

Agreeing to get divorced is one thing. Agreeing how to get divorced is a whole different ball game. 

If you and your soon-to-be-former spouse aren’t on the same page, resolving your case can take longer, cost more, and make it difficult to co-parent your children. 

Seeking the assistance of a seasoned New Mexico family law attorney like Bob Matteucci can help you come to an agreement and move forward with your lives — no matter how deeply you and your partner disagree. 

Hurtling Toward a Courtroom Showdown

Getting divorced is never easy, but it can be a particularly painful process if you and your former partner cannot decide:

  • How to split up your marital assets
  • Who should take responsibility for your marital debt
  • Which one of you will have primary physical custody of your children, and 
  • Whether spousal support (aka alimony) should be paid by one of you to the other.

In a worst case scenario, you will end up debating these issues in front of a family court judge who has the power to determine the trajectory of the rest of your life. 

Nobody wants to cede control of their future to a judge, but that is exactly what happens if you and your former partner can’t come to some sort of agreement over the terms of your divorce. 

To add insult to injury, relying on a judge to resolve your dispute will take longer and cost more than coming to an agreement outside of court. And being locked in a bitter dispute can make it difficult to co-parent, and is often very harmful for children to witness. 

Avoiding the Worst Case Scenario 

Knowing that the worst case scenario is a judge deciding your fate can give you and your former partner an incentive to work things out outside of court. Which is still easier said than done. 

Fortunately, there are a few different paths you can take to reach an agreement: 

  • Negotiation – Many couples in the Albuquerque area are able to hammer out the details of their divorce around a conference room table with their attorney at their side. As long as everyone is committed to finding a way to avoid going to court, an agreement can usually be struck quite quickly. 
  • Bringing in a neutral third party – If you and your former partner cannot come to an amicable agreement with your lawyers’ assistance, it may be time to bring in a settlement facilitator, special master, or other professional that will help resolve the issues you are debating. 
  • Mediated Divorce – Mediation is the preferred choice of couples who generally agree on the terms of their divorce but need assistance resolving a few high-stakes conflicts or fairly dividing complex assets. The mediator steers both sides to a mutually acceptable resolution, and drafts all the paperwork necessary to formalize the divorce. 
  • Collaborative Divorce – Couples in the Rio Rancho area who still trust and respect one another, but need help dividing up complex assets or coming up with a unique child custody agreement may benefit from a collaborative divorce. Attorney Bob Matteucci is one of a handful of lawyers in New Mexico who are certified to guide couples through this process, which relies on the assistance of professionals like financial planners and counselors. 

Attorney Bob Matteucci can help you figure out what tactics will help resolve your case without letting a judge control your life. 

Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion 

If you and your spouse can’t agree on the terms of your divorce you will end up having your future decided by a family court judge. The best way to avoid this scenario depends on you and your ex-partner’s perspectives and objectives. Attorney Bob Matteucci can help you find a way to move forward that works for your family and the unique challenges you face. Please contact Bob today to schedule an initial consultation.

About the Author
Bob Matteucci is a board certified family law specialist, with a statewide practice in the area of divorce and family law.