Attorney
From figuring out how your child is supposed to build a meaningful relationship with someone who is not physically present, to determining how to make shared decisions about your child’s well-being when you aren’t in the same room, co-parenting with someone who does not live close by presents many challenges.
But with thoughtful planning and the right attitude, long-distance child custody agreements can end up working well. Here are seven tactics Attorney Bob Matteucci has used to help families in the Albuquerque area navigating these situations.
1. Ensure Flexibility in the Custody Agreement — A flexible custody agreement is essential when parents don’t live near one another, or one or both parents frequently travel for work. Including provisions that allow for schedule modifications—while keeping your child’s best interests in mind—can make a big difference.
2. Use Technology to Bridge the Gap — Maintaining regular communication with your child when they’re with their other parent is crucial, as is facilitating your child’s relationship with their other parent when your child is living with you. Video calls, messaging apps, and shared digital calendars allow parents and children to stay connected, no matter how far apart you are. They are also essential tools for parents who share legal custody but do not live near one another.
3. Treat Travel Like an Adventure — Instead of lamenting the fact that your child must travel to visit you or their other parent, frame the logistical challenges as a learning opportunity. Teach your child what it means to plan a trip, how to navigate from one point to the next, and what it means to appreciate experiences that are outside of the ordinary. To smooth this process, make sure you include specifics about who covers travel costs, how children will be transported, and whether a third party like a nanny or caregiver will accompany the child as they travel between homes, in your parenting plan.
4. Plan Ahead for Holidays and Special Events — When parents live far apart, sharing holidays and special events can be challenging. Clear, advanced planning about who gets to spend specific holidays or birthdays with your child will help avoid disputes. You might alternate major holidays each year or agree on specific traditions that give your child the opportunity to develop bonds with extended family members.
5. Expect the Unexpected — As the covid19 pandemic taught us, our ability to travel can be curtailed by factors outside our control. Having contingency plans for unexpected situations such as travel restrictions, illness, or weather disruptions can help you navigate unforeseen challenges without violating the custody agreement.
6. Be Prepared to Modify Your Agreement as Needed — Periodically reviewing your custody agreement ensures it evolves alongside your child’s needs, and matches your current living situation. Modifying your agreement is especially important if you or your child’s other parent moves to a new location and your existing custody agreement no longer works well.
7. Keep the Child’s Well-Being at the Heart of It All — No matter how difficult it is to co-parent with someone who lives a long way away, remember that you are doing everything you can to put your child’s best interests first. Keeping this in mind can help you keep a positive attitude, even when long-distance parenting is a problem.
Serving Families with Dignity & Compassion
With the right mindset, and an appropriate parenting plan in place, co-parents can turn the challenges that arise when parents don’t live near one another into an opportunity for growth, connection, and adventure. By keeping communication open, being flexible, and putting the child’s well-being at the forefront, your family can thrive despite the miles between you and your former partner’s homes.
If you and your child’s other parent live a long way away from one another, Attorney Bob Matteucci is ready to help you craft a parenting plan that matches your family’s unique needs. Contact the Matteucci Family Law Firm today to set up a meeting and discuss your case.