Few things matter more to a parent than spending time with their children. Whether it’s helping with homework, coaching a soccer game, or just being there for bedtime stories, those everyday moments are what matter most — and they’re what parents worry about the most during a divorce or separation.
Whether you’re getting primary custody of your child, or your parenting time will be more limited, hammering out a custody agreement that spells out exactly how much you’ll see your child going forward, and how their time with and without you will be structured, can bring enormous peace of mind during an otherwise uncertain time in your life.
At Matteucci Family Law, Attorney Bob Matteucci helps parents across the state of New Mexico assert their parental rights and ensure their child gets what they need: love, consistency, and quality time with both parents.
Child Custody and Visitation in New Mexico
While New Mexico law prefers that parents share joint legal custody of their child, and all but requires each parent spend a significant amount of time with their child, it is unlikely a child can spend 50% of their time with one parent and 50% of their time with the other.
One parent typically has primary physical custody while the other plays an important supporting role. The periods of time a noncustodial parent is able to spend with their child is often referred to as visitation.
How the time a child spends with each parent is apportioned varies from family to family. The key consideration is what is in the best interests of the child. Parents usually have a pretty good idea what is best for their child, but when disagreements arise, it can be helpful to consider the same factors the courts do when they take up custody cases:
- the child’s preferences and needs;
- the child’s wishes;
- the relationship your child has with you, his or her mother, siblings, and extended family members or other people important to the child;
- the child’s adjustment to his or her home, school, and community; and
- the mental and physical health of all individuals involved.
However, this is just a jumping-off point. The custody agreement and visitation schedule included in a family’s parenting plan — and approved by a New Mexico family court judge — will be completely unique since no two families are alike.
Different Types of Visitation: It Looks Different for Every Family
Many families in the Albuquerque area are content to let each parent decide how to spend the time they have with their child. Other families prefer to spell out certain expectations in their parenting plan, like no alcohol use while the child is with you.
Sometimes, to protect your child, it is necessary to take things a step further and request that all visitation be supervised. Supervised visitation can take place at a licensed visitation center, in the presence of a professional supervisor, or sometimes with a mutually agreed-upon friend or family member.
The specific terms are ordered by a judge and tailored to the unique concerns of the case. Here are few examples of different types of supervised visitation:
- Therapeutic Visitation – Visits are supervised by a licensed therapist who can provide feedback to the court and help rebuild the parent-child relationship in a supportive environment.
- Gradual Reunification Plans – Courts can order a step-by-step parenting plan where visitation gradually increases as the parent meets specific goals (e.g., completing a substance abuse program or parenting classes).
- Parenting Coordinators – In high-conflict cases, a neutral professional can help both parties implement and adjust the parenting plan, making recommendations to the court if needed.
- Monitored Exchanges – Instead of supervising the visit itself, a third party oversees the hand-off of the child to reduce conflict during pickups and drop-offs.
The key consideration in all of these scenarios is the well-being of the child. A family court judge will generally impose whatever safeguards he or she believes are necessary to protect a child.
Challenges that Arise in Visitation Cases
Co-parenting rarely comes without its challenges. While child custody and visitation plans may sound good on paper, parents often face problems when real life interferes.
- Missed Visits – Even in a best-case scenario, some visits will be missed. Sometimes this is for legitimate reasons, like the child being sick. But in far too many cases, the custodial parent is acting in bad faith by having the child miss a visit.
- Interfering with Visitation – Custodial parents often attempt to control what the visiting parent does during his or her time with the child. Micromanaging the parent’s actions, unnecessarily calling the child, and other forms of interruption are typically done to undermine the visiting parent’s rights.
- Tying Visitation to Child Support – Visitation and child support are two distinct matters under New Mexico law. If you’re behind on support, the custodial parent cannot deny you visitation. By the same token, you cannot refuse to pay child support if there are problems with visitation.
- Grandparent Visitation – Grandparents do not have a legal right to spend time with their grandchild, but there are certain circumstances when grandparents can ask a court to grant them visitation privileges.
- Step-Parent Visitation – Unlike biological parents, stepparents in New Mexico do not have automatic rights to visitation or custody of a stepchild following a divorce or separation. However, there are legal actions a step-parent can take if they believe maintaining a relationship is in a child’s best interest.
In each of these scenarios it is important to consult with a seasoned family law attorney like Bob Matteucci who can advise you of your options.
Modifying Your Visitation or Child Custody Schedule
Custody orders and parenting plans are not written in a vacuum. Life is always changing for both parents and children. If your visitation schedule is no longer working well for your family it may be time to change it. The courts will okay an updated plan if there has been a “material and substantial change” that necessitates a modification. This, of course, is a fact-specific question that will vary from one case to another.
Serving Families With Dignity & Compassion
Spending time with your children isn’t just a legal issue — it’s a deeply personal one. Whether you call it visitation, parenting time, or just being there, having a clear, thoughtful parenting plan that fully addresses the topic can protect your relationship with your kids and give everyone a greater sense of stability.
If you’re navigating custody or visitation in New Mexico, the Matteucci Family Law team is here to help you move forward. Please contact Attorney Bob Matteucci today to schedule a meeting.